I seem to be making a habit of travelling lately! Tomorrow (well, technically today) I am off to London until Thursday. It is my birthday on Friday, so when I was moping around a bit, missing my friends, mum kindly said she would pay for me to go and stay in a hotel as a birthday present. I’m excited to be seeing everyone again and apparently my friend Peter remembered that it is my birthday, and he and my other great friend from there are going out with me to the West End and we’re gonna party!
I’m actually quite pleased to be staying in a hotel rather than at my friends’ flat. I don’t actually like staying with other people, mostly because I have to be very cautious about behaving right (not that I am normally a rampaging loon, although I was rather rude last time and I am still embarrassed about it) I also tend to feel like a burden, like they feel they must entertain me, when mostly I just want to bum around. I prefer being on my own in a hotel, I can, for instance, go and have a nap if I feel like it, leave all my stuff strewn across the floor, whatever. I’ve never really been a stayer-over at people’s houses! That isn’t a reflection on my friends, who are lovely, its just a personal preference.
I’ve been having a slightly…odd time with my moods. I was quite down a few days ago and then, with mum buying me a holiday that switched into a slightly high mood. It seems to have settled though, so I am not too worried at this stage.
One of the downsides to the slightly high is that that, combined with copious amounts of alcohol, led me to tell someone at the pub that I have bipolar disorder. Now I’m hoping he doesn’t spread that around and that others didn’t hear me, because I have experienced discrimination in the past and I am not sure they will understand. They might, and it has been bothering me that this big part of my life is hidden – and so is my blogging. It actually came out when he asked what I blog about.
More than anything I would like my church family to know (and I have only just started thinking of them as my family). The local baptists do, as I see them quite frequently, but my own church do not. Part of that is because I need to tell the vicar before others, as I don’t want him to find out second-hand, and it is important that he hears in the right way because I am currently questioning whether I have a vocation to the priesthood and he knows about that. I don’t want to play into any prejudices he might have and I don’t know him very well. But I hate keeping secrets, particularly something that is as important to my life, and I feel like I’m being deceptive, somehow. It is a difficulty.
In other news I am to be given the church website to look after and I have a meeting the week after next between me and the vicar, and also the person who has charge of the website right now. I’m planning to make it a WordPress based website rather than what it is now, where you need Dreamweaver to edit it. I need to do some listy things and figure out ideas, mostly because the man who currently has the website is a dear, but tends to ramble and wander off mentally. He needs a secretary to organise him really! I went to his house to offer my services web-wise and was there for three hours and felt like I dragged out of him a small piece of work! I shall have to try to gently steer the conversation. Hopefully the vicar (who was an accountant and therefore super-organised) will do that too.
So, I’m off to London, and I am very much looking forward to that!