Yet Another Holiday

Candles spell out the traditional English birt...

Candles spell out the traditional English birthday greeting (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I seem to be making a habit of travelling lately! Tomorrow (well, technically today) I am off to London until Thursday. It is my birthday on Friday, so when I was moping around a bit, missing my friends, mum kindly said she would pay for me to go and stay in a hotel as a birthday present. I’m excited to be seeing everyone again and apparently my friend Peter remembered that it is my birthday, and he and my other great friend from there are going out with me to the West End and we’re gonna party!

I’m actually quite pleased to be staying in a hotel rather than at my friends’ flat. I don’t actually like staying with other people, mostly because I have to be very cautious about behaving right (not that I am normally a rampaging loon, although I was rather rude last time and I am still embarrassed about it) I also tend to feel like a burden, like they feel they must entertain me, when mostly I just want to bum around. I prefer being on my own in a hotel, I can, for instance, go and have a nap if I feel like it, leave all my stuff strewn across the floor, whatever. I’ve never really been a stayer-over at people’s houses! That isn’t a reflection on my friends, who are lovely, its just a personal preference.

I’ve been having a slightly…odd time with my moods. I was quite down a few days ago and then, with mum buying me a holiday that switched into a slightly high mood. It seems to have settled though, so I am not too worried at this stage.

One of the downsides to the slightly high is that that, combined with copious amounts of alcohol, led me to tell someone at the pub that I have bipolar disorder. Now I’m hoping he doesn’t spread that around and that others didn’t hear me, because I have experienced discrimination in the past and I am not sure they will understand. They might, and it has been bothering me that this big part of my life is hidden – and so is my blogging. It actually came out when he asked what I blog about.

More than anything I would like my church family to know (and I have only just started thinking of them as my family). The local baptists do, as I see them quite frequently, but my own church do not. Part of that is because I need to tell the vicar before others, as I don’t want him to find out second-hand, and it is important that he hears in the right way because I am currently questioning whether I have a vocation to the priesthood and he knows about that. I don’t want to play into any prejudices he might have and I don’t know him very well. But I hate keeping secrets, particularly something that is as important to my life, and I feel like I’m being deceptive, somehow. It is a difficulty.

In other news I am to be given the church website to look after and I have a meeting the week after next between me and the vicar, and also the person who has charge of the website right now. I’m planning to make it a WordPress based website rather than what it is now, where you need Dreamweaver to edit it. I need to do some listy things and figure out ideas, mostly because the man who currently has the website is a dear, but tends to ramble and wander off mentally. He needs a secretary to organise him really! I went to his house to offer my services web-wise and was there for three hours and felt like I dragged out of him a small piece of work! I shall have to try to gently steer the conversation. Hopefully the vicar (who was an accountant and therefore super-organised) will do that too.

So, I’m off to London, and I am very much looking forward to that!

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Woman-flu

Downtown Edinburgh

Downtown Edinburgh (Photo credit: Extra Medium)

Well, I had a nice trip up to Edinburgh, spent several nights chewing the fat with my old university friend. Talked about everything under the sun and drank enormous quantities of lager. Quite impressed I managed a conversation at all, really!

However I am back in the North East and have come down with a cold. Now I remember, Shirley was getting over a chest infection when I saw her! So now I am grumping round the house complaining bitterly about feeling ill.

I am a wimp when it comes to (physical) illness. If I strain a muscle there is much groaning, when I have a cold I sit around looking sorry for myself. Right now I am feeling ok though – I followed my mum’s advice (mums are useful) and had a bath, which seems to have temporarily resolved the achy muscles, and the rest is lemsip!

As for what I’m doing now…I didn’t make it to church on Sunday, because I felt absolutely shattered after getting back from Edinburgh on Saturday. I did think I might go to Evensong, but the only time I’ve been to that I felt completely bewildered throughout and had no idea what I was supposed to be doing/saying/singing at any given time!

I’m doing a course on Thursday evening with the local Baptists – my church doesn’t do that kind of thing, unfortunately, but the Baptists do (and their courses are full of young men!) Apparently it is a Jeff Lucas one – so was the last one and I enjoyed that so it should be good.

I am still prevaricating about going to London for the award ceremony – I would like to go, but lack the funds. I could use my savings or my credit card, but I think the parents would be less than pleased about that! I might ask mum if she could sub me some money. The trouble is that it is £119 for the train ticket, then about that again for every night in a hotel. I would like to go for 2 or 3 nights, so it will be expensive! I have friends in London but it seems the height of rudeness to ring up and say “I’ve been invited to an award ceremony, for something you are not interested in and only one of you could come along anyway, can I come and stay with you?” My friends are not a hotel! (Also, it would be really cool to just walk into the old pub and surprise everyone!)

We shall see. Need to get a move on though, as if I’m not going I need to tell them sharpish.

In other good news I randomly won a Bible through the Woman Alive facebook book group thingy. I am being lucky at the moment! I like winning things. I am also slightly obsessed by Bibles (I have many many many different types and have a disconcerting habit of feeling and smelling the bindings. I have found that people are embarrassed if you do that in public, for some reason)

My room in my new house is now almost ready, I now have an absolutely massive desk! And a filing cabinet so I have somewhere to put my degree/A-levels and whatnot in.

On the subject of ideas, which I was opining about recently. I have discovered that my fancy new Bible software is so good that I think I could produce at least a few blog posts about more general Christian subjects (i.e. not mental health related). I think I might just do that, I think. Though Believer’s Brain would always be my priority.

Anyway, that’s that. Apart from one thing – why does no one comment on Believer’s Brain? I see in the stats that people are reading, but no one says anything! Or presses the “like” button! Am I writing crap and no one has told me? Am I boring? I need feedback!

*walks away grumbling*

Moving House

Red folding chair

Red folding chair (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve spent the last few days packing, packing, packing. I am a bit knackered now!

Mentally, I’m a lot better. I think I wound up in a panic about the move, and the fact that the day after I move house I’m going down to London, that combined with my lingering down over the job I had, well altogether I think it just made me unwell. I have been fine the past few days.

I finished my series on my other blog and am taking a small break. We’re moving tomorrow, and won’t have the internet connected up until Monday (thanks, BT!) so I won’t be able to post anything. I think I’ll use the time (when I come back from London) to do a little research.

I made an impulse purchase of the Logos Scholar’s Library which is a computer program with Bibles, commentaries and such. It is amazing and has me all excited. I can research! All the things! It was an attempt to cheer myself up when I was down (I tend to do that) but fortunately I have wanted it for ages and can afford it. I did my “Cutting and Marking in the Bible” post using it, actually.

So I’m feeling quite upbeat. I daresay I will be a bit miserable tomorrow – the first night in a new house has always been hard for me, but I have books, and my new program on my computer, so I should be ok. And the next day I go to London and see my friends, and one of those friends is turning 80 so I have bought him a new pipe and some tobacco. The cat will have to stay in for the next three weeks or so so I will get plenty of cuddling done once I get back!

I have been looking after the neighbour’s cat this week, which has extensively dribbled on me! It is a nice cat. It’s owners are back tomorrow in the early hours, apparently, so I will let them sleep and then return their key. I replaced all its litter, gave it a cuddle and some food and water so the cat is quite happy for tonight!

Tomorrow I will apparently be spending my day in the new house, because the men won’t need me, they’re doing all the shifting (for which I am profoundly grateful as my back is complaining at the moment) so I shall take my folding chair and walk!

So, for a week, toodle-oo!